Front Porch Party

Dear Friends,

I would like to invite you to a fun little activity happening over at my sister's blog http://rhondisrosecoloredglasses.blogspot.com/.

She is having a 'Front Porch Party' for her birthday. She did this last year and had many of her blogging friends join her with pictures of their front porches. I enjoyed looking a front porches from all over the world.

It is a bit of fun, a bit of whimsy and a lot of pretty. I hope you go and enjoy yourself! Consider it good therapy....

Wendy Love

Depression is like Diabetes?

How is depression like diabetes? They both require medication and management.


If you were diagnosed with diabetes you would have to understand the need to take your medication as well as manage your diet and exercise. Depression is similar. If you are one of the lucky people like me, who has found a medication that is helpful, you need to take that medication. But just expecting the medication to take care of everything is not realistic. You still need to manage your life.

Would I ever love to live and let live, to do what I want when I want. Monitoring my activities is a drag but it is worth it! Since I have learned these management strategies, I am still sick, BUT ...less often! Would you like to be sick less often? I cannot promise you that if you make a whole lot of changes you will see a whole lot of difference, but you might!

When I hit a low period, I think “why bother changing all of these things when here I am, sick again. What’s the point?” If it weren’t for my husband reminding me that I am not as sick as I once was, I would probably give up many of the changes I have made. When I feel like resisting the need to make changes, he points out that I am just training myself, like an athlete, to do things in a different way.

Just as a diabetic will get sick if they ignore the necessary changes, so we who live with depression will get sick if we ignore the necessary changes. Wouldn't I love to be as free as this dog with his head in the wind?! Gee! Maybe that could be a new strategy that would work for us all! Maybe I will write a book about that!

How can this apply to you? Try to jot down a note now and then of some lifestyle changes that you are experimenting with and then notice if there is a difference. If so, you will be encouraged to continue with changes that help. This is where keeping a journal can be so useful.

Next time I would love to share a post from an eternal optimist. Don't you just hate optimists sometimes? I am sure an optimist is someone who is never depressed. What do you think? I will surprise you next time.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/captain/

May dipsy doodling around depression be almost as good as a therapy session!

Don't give up,

I'm praying for you!

Wendy Love

Depression Needs no Mirrors

My mother gave me a pillow one Christmas which said "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I have become my mother, after all!" That pillow was a source of laughter when I opened it and remained a source of laughter for years after. What do you see now when you look in a mirror? I would recommend staying away from mirrors on one of your bad days.

I read a lovely novel by Karen Kingsbury called "Remember". There is a character in the book, a young woman named Ashley who works in a small group home for a few adults who have Alzheimer’s. Ashley is not an expert on the disease but is determined to make a difference in the lives of these dear folk.

There is a lady in the home who hates taking her morning bath. She is mild mannered all day long but when she goes into the bathroom and Ashley prepares to help her with her bath, the lady throws a fit and cannot be consoled.

Ashley decides to interview the lady’s daughter to find out a bit more about her. She learns that this dear old lady who is slowly losing her mind, was once a beautiful model. Since people with Alzheimer’s don’t understand what year it is, they often don’t realize that they have gotten old. Ashley concludes that the woman, once a beautiful young model, is frightened when she looks in the mirror and sees this old lady!

Ashley took the mirror down in the bathroom and everything was fine! The lady never fussed again about her morning bath.

So how can this apply to you? Maybe there is one single change you can make in your life, as simple as taking a mirror down, that can make a lot of difference and make your illness easier to manage. Is there a 'mirror' in your life that is adding unnecessary pain to an already painful illness?

Next time I am going to chat with you about how diabetes and depression have a lot in common.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine, click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/johnny/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,

I'm praying for you,

Wendy Love

Taking Charge of your Life

A question often asked by counsellors is “what would you like to see happen?” When I am depressed, my answer to that has been “what is the point of me even answering that question. I can’t get what I want anyways. I can’t control my life or the people in it.”

Yesterday I suggested you make a list of things in your life that you like or don't like. Most of us have things, people and situations in our lives that we cannot control. But are there any things on your list that you could exercise some control over? For instance, if you are feeling overwhelmed, could you get some help? Or could you make a list of all of the things that are overwhelming you and cross some things off of the list?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if changing your life was as easy as rearranging furniture? Changing your life will not change the illness but it may make some of your symptoms less extreme. Even if it helps a wee bit, wouldn’t that be a good thing?

We come back to the topic of those ‘voices’, those negative thoughts, often lies, that come into your mind when you are depressed. Now some of those voices are not lies. Here’s one of mine “I just want to be alone. Could everyone please just leave me alone?”

Now, yes, that is a typical thought of a depressed person. But in my case, I love being alone even when I am well. I am a loner. I hadn’t realized that until I began to take a look at my life, due to this illness. When my counsellor asked me whether I liked quiet or chaos, I knew right away that I liked quiet. "Are you getting any?" was her next question. At that time I was living with my second husband, his three children, our three dogs and two cats, as well as running a business from my home. Wow! No wonder I was feeling sick.

The book “The Introvert Advantage” by Martin Olsen Laney helped me to understand this side of myself, the side that needs to be alone. With this new information, I realized, that sometimes when I thought I was getting depressed I realized that I was just edgy because I wasn’t getting enough time alone. Give me a few hours to myself and I am good to go.

My doctor was convinced that it was my life that was making me sick. She said that if I would make some changes, the depression would go away. The depression continued however and years later, when I was back at the doctor with the same 0ld symptoms and full of discouragement I said to her "It can't be my life that is making me sick. The kids have left home, the dogs have died and I have cut my business in half! There's nothing left to change!"

But there were still a few things I could change which I did. The biggest change was not just lifestyle, it was getting the right diagnosis and the right medication. Once I did that, and then combined that with the lifestyle changes, I began to see some relief. I have also had to totally give up my business and I know that many of you have had to give up jobs as well. The hardest changes to make are the ones we don't want to make. Getting rid of the negative things is a relief, but getting rid of something, such as a job that you like, or a trip that you were looking foward to, is painful... but not as painful as depression!

How can this apply to you? Make a list of the parts of your lifestyle that ‘bug’ you (include the people that bug you too). Take a good look at that list and see if there is anything, even one thing that you could change. One little change can sometimes make a big difference.

Next time I am going to talk to you about a novel I read that described a tiny solution that solved a big problem.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here:

http://www.danggoodjokes.com/price/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,

I'm praying for you!

Wendy Love

Strategies that are Helpful to Everyone! Depressed or Not!

Teaching 'special needs' children made me into a better teacher. When I trained to become an elementary school teacher, I chose as an elective ‘special needs children’. As I continued in my career, I always had a heart for the children who learned differently, and I worked like a detective to figure out some strategies that would help.

The neat thing was that anything I did to make my teaching more reachable for them, made my teaching methods more successful for everyone, not just the special kids! I became a better teacher as a result. I took a good look at the way I was teaching and analyzed how it would or would not work with ALL of the different kinds of students.

Because of depression I have had to take a good look at my life and analyze which parts of it work and which parts don’t. It has made me into a better person, into a person that is living a life more suited to their needs, their dreams, and their limitations.

Why do I mention this? What does it have to do with depression? The many different things that I share with you that may help you deal with your depression and live a better life despite it, could help ANYONE deal with their life, even if they don’t have depression.

EVERYONE benefits from learning how to handle stress. EVERYONE benefits from learning more about themselves and how they are affected by their environment and by the people around them.

So, how does this apply to you? Look at your lifestyle and note what works and what doesn’t. Note what you hate and what you love about your life. (now with me I can hate something one day and love the same thing the next day depending on my mood!) Write it down so you don’t forget. Next time I will get into more detail on how you can play detective and use this list to create a life that you can cope with maybe just a little better.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/ducks/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,

I'm praying for you,

Wendy Love

Lies that Help?

Here is one the voices that I hear when I am depressed. “What’s wrong with everyone?” Do you ever feel that way? You can find something wrong with everyone. No one can do anything right!

 When I hear that lying voice I know that I am becoming depressed. Usually there is nothing wrong with everyone (nothing more than usual!) but when the depression is coming on, that is what I think and that is how I feel.

 Another thing I do when depression is coming on is to think about moving. I become sure there is somewhere else I could live that would be less stressful. It all seems very real to me.

 With bipolar, I have constant mood swings. I may have three good days and then three bad days. Recognizing my mood changes as they swing can prevent a lot of suffering for everyone.

 Even the good moods are a sign of danger for me. If I start getting a bunch of creative ideas and think I am able to do them all, then I am becoming manic and have to put a lid on it, which is no fun! My husband is my one-man vigilante team. He helps me recognize some of these signs when I can’t recognize them myself.

What does this have to do with you? You can learn to recognize those voices before they totally take over.  The next time the ‘voices’  begin, make like a soldier preparing for battle and do whatever you can to stay away from stressful situations and get as much rest as you can. This may or may not make a difference, but it is worth trying. What do you have to lose?

 Next time I would like to chat with you about what I learned teaching ‘special needs’ kids and how it applies to those of us who live with mental illness.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/seashore/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,

I'm praying for you,

Wendy Love

"I've Got a Secret"

Does anyone remember the old TV game show “I’ve Got a Secret”? There was a regular panel and then there was a guest panel. The guests were the ones with the secret. The ‘secret’ was usually a newsworthy item associated with an individual. One of the individuals on the guest panel was that person. The others were imposters. The job of the regular panel was to ask questions and then try to figure out who the real person was. Once the questions were asked and the show was reaching a climax the host would say “would the real ___________ please stand up!”

That is how bipolar makes me feel. I often ask, “Would the real Wendy Love please stand up?” I feel like I am a stranger to my other selves. Today is a bad day; I am having a lot of them lately. I have more negative thoughts than positive thoughts and I am discouraged.

The other day I said to my husband that when I feel this bad I wonder why I even bother with all of my strategies if I am still going to have so many bad days. He reminded me that I have less days like this than I used to and I guess I know he is right (I can’t remember much).

My husband is a sports enthusiast. He told me how players, even during the off season, have to keep in shape so they can endure the rigors of the game. He assured me that my ‘strategies’ are my ‘keeping in shape’ and that they really do help me endure before, after and during a depressive episode. I guess he is right but it doesn't seem like it right now.

I am thankful for a husband who gives me pep talks. I am thankful for a husband who, when I rant on and on about all of the things that are wrong with my life (which when I am depressed is everything including him!) knows that it is the depression speaking. I am thankful for a husband who, when I am at my worst and try to pick a fight with him, does not take the bait but just lets me get it all off my chest.

Today I am not thankful for depression. I am thankful that I am alone in the house because it means I don’t have to feel guilty that I don’t want to see or talk to anyone.

Today I have no jokes to send along and no prayers for now. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe tomorrow will be better. The best part of a depressed day for me is when it is over and I can finally turn out the lights, call it a day, and say to myself “maybe tomorrow will be better”.

And for me tomorrow will be better at least for awhile because tomorrow I am doing something with my two favourite people, my daughters. We are leaving husbands and children behind and going to a giant garage sale in the neighbourhood where I grew up in Toronto. We intend to go every year but something usually interferes and besides, I am not usually up to it. This year I am determined to go but it will cost me. I will get so excited and I will probably enjoy every minute. I will come home exhausted. I won’t crash the very next day. The next day I will be sort of okay and say to myself “maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time I won’t crash after all the excitement. But it will usually hit me the second or third day. Sometimes it is sudden, sometimes not, but it is insidious and there is no telling how dramatic it will be or how long it will last. But you know, I have cancelled so much of my life in order to survive this illness. I just don’t want to cancel this too.

A few of you have said that a blog can be helpful to others when we are real about ourselves. I would rather just blog with my cheerful self, my teacher self, my writer self. I want to ignore my depressed self and pretend she doesn’t exist. But she does.

Last time I think I said that I would write about those awful voices and how they can be useful and I will, actually I already have...on one of my good days! You see on my good days I can think straight and I can think about good stuff!

May all of the Wendy Loves minister to you. It is my hope and my prayer that dipsy doodling around depression will be almost as good as a therapy session...for you and for me!

Until Monday....

Wendy Love

Replace the Lies with THE TRUTH

Did you do your homework? Did you replace some of those lies with the truth? Was this a worthwhile exercise for you? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment if you feel up to it today. You may be surprised how something you have experienced may be of use to someone else.

Replacing the lies with the truth isn’t a one time exercise. It is a new way of thinking that can help us when we are in the depths of depression. As hard as it is, it is a worthwhile discipline. Talking back to the voices can be empowering. You will feel less like a victim and more in control. You will feel in charge of your life.

As a Christian, I believe that the bible is true and so I cling to every word I read there. A passage that I have applied to my depression is this one, which is found in Philippians 4:8 where Paul is speaking to a group of Christians about how to think. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is praiseworthy – think about such things...put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Peace is something lacking when we are in a state of depression. Would you like some peace? When I am in bad shape I use this advice. While I am on my daily walk, barely able to put one foot in front of the other, I say these things to myself. For instance for ‘true’ I may say ‘my husband loves me’. For pure I may say ‘my grandchild’. For pure I might think of the wild flowers at the side of the road. You get the idea. If I stick at it long enough, I can sometimes purge the negative thoughts that accompany depression.

How can this apply to you? Try this list from the bible. In one column write “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy. Now beside each one of those words, give an example. This is not a quick exercise. This is not a one time exercise. But it could be something that works for you! If you don’t try it, you won’t find out.

Next time I will share with you the flip side of those awful voices. They can actually help you and I am proof of that.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here:

http://danggoodjokes.com/painter/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up!

I'm praying for you,

Wendy Love

The Voices of Depression, Part II

What voices did you come up with? Did you have some that were different from the ones I mentioned? Yesterday I said that today I was going to tell you what to do with those voices so let's get started!

You could tell them to go away. You could pretend that you are taking them in your hand and throwing them into the pit of hell where they belong! You could try to ignore them but I know that is almost impossible when you are depressed. The part you want to ignore is the content of the message because it is a lie.

For instance “you are a failure” is not true. You may have failed as some things, but everyone else has too! But, as long as you have breath you have the hope of making some successes yet in your life. If you are reading this blog then you are looking for some more possibilities of ways to handle that old depression. You haven’t given up. You haven’t failed yet. You are not a failure!

What does this have to do with you? Yesterday I had you make a list of some of your voices. Remembering now that those voices are just thoughts and lies as well, put beside each lie a truth.

Continue with your list and put a true thought beside each lie. Keep this list for future reference.

For instance “I am a failure” could be replaced with “I am not a failure. I got up for an hour today.” Or, “I am not a failure, I raised two good kids.” Or, “I am not a failure, I still manage to go to work even though it is hard.” You pick the truth and apply it to the lie. If this is a difficult exercise for you, get a trusted friend or family member to help you. They can often see a truth that you cannot see due to the depression which is clouding your judgement.

What does this have to do with you? How can you apply this to your situation? Do you need to learn to fight back like this gal punching a bag? The bag is the lies, and her punching gloves are the truth. She is beating the lies up with the truth.

Next time I am going to talk further about replacing lies with truth. This is too important a topic to rush through.



For your daily dose of laughter medicine today click here.



May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!


Don't give up,
I'm praying for you!
Wendy Love

The Voices of Depression, Part I

I have a friend named Angela who playfully claims that chocolate speaks to her. When she has chocolate in her house, chocolate which she is trying to resist, she claims it calls our her name. I can hear her saying “that chocolate had such a loud voice!”

Depression has voices of its own too. If you suffer from depression you know all about these voices. Here are some examples:

“You are such a failure.”
“What’s the point?”
“Why bother?”
“If only I had....”
“It was all my fault....”
“Why does my husband even love me, I am so unlovable.”
“What’s wrong with everybody?”
“They never liked me....”
These are just a few examples. You could probably add a few of your own.

This woman looks like she is having a difficult time enjoying the day. Maybe she is plagued by 'voices' that impede her ability to enjoy life.

These aren’t actual voices, they are thoughts. They seem personal but when you talk to others who experience depression, you will discover that they have the same thoughts. This is proof that the ‘voices’ or ‘thoughts’ go with the illness. The 'voices' or thoughts are not true.

There is a program by Lucinda Bassett called 'Attacking Anxiety and Depression'. It is an expensive program but I was able to borrow if from a friend. Something she says in that program about the voices we hear is “they are just thoughts." They are not real and they are not true! They are just thoughts! This concept put a whole new twist on 'voices' for me and minimized their power over me.

What does this have to do with you? If you have these ‘voices’ or ‘thoughts’, write them down as they come to mind. Make a list before tomorrow, and I will give you some ideas of what to do with those ‘voices’.

Click here for your daily dose of laughter medicine.

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don’t give up...I’m praying for you.
Wendy Love

Living with Depression is NOT Living!

Before getting into a discussion on the 'voices of depression' as I promised yesterday, I find myself dealing with some of my own voices today. Today is one of my bad days. I need to read my own blog.... and get some help, some laughter, some prayer and a reminder not to give up!

And in the sadness of my spirit, I find myself thinking 'why am I even doing this blog? who am I kidding that I can make a difference?' I really thought I was writing the blog to help others and to a certain extent I am. But in truth I am writing it for myself. I am reminding myself of all the things I have learned about depression and how to live with it. I am reminding myself not to give up. I am reminding myself to laugh once in awhile. I am reminding myself that I WILL have bad days and I will get better again...for awhile.

I had originally decided that I would not post on my bad days. I had hoped that I had planned to prepare several posts on my good days and have them ready to go...no matter what my mood. And there you have it, the old habit of 'putting on a good front' has reared its ugly head! This is something we who suffer from mental illness cannot waste energy doing. Today I have had to grieve all over again the loss of the life I had hoped to live.

I am reminded of the movie 'The Notebook', I loved that movie! I have always liked James Garner and even in his senior years find him quite adorable (it's the smile). What woman wouldn't want to die in his arms? But I digress....

The part of the story that reminds me of my own condition is when for a moment his wife, who has altzheimers remembers who he is. She looks at him and says "how long have I been gone?" and he responds gently "awhile" and then she says "how long will we have?" and he says something like "I don't know, last time it was five minutes...."

That is how this rapid cycling bipolar makes me feel. When I am feeling good I wonder "how long will I have?" When I am depressed I wonder "how long will it last?"

The good news is that, since finding a medication that is helpful, neither the manic or the depressive moods last for long, BUT, when I am manic I am sure that is how I am going to stay and I will never be depressed again and I even forget how awful depression is. I can hardly remember the depression. Kind of like childbirth, I have the knowledge of the pain but not the memory of the pain.

And so there you go, my first negative rant on 'Dipsy Doodling around Depression' which is something I never intended to do and will try to avoid. But maybe this will make me more real to those of you who are reading this.

What does this have to do with you? Maybe you need a good rant too. Maybe it is a comfort to you that this girl, me, who looks neat and tidy and smiley in the photo and has put together what looks to be an organized and informative blog, does NOT have it altogether. Maybe this is your day to feel that you are not alone in your crazy thoughts.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine, click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/baseball/

Don't give up!

May dipsy doodling around depression be kind of like a therapy session....

I'm praying for you,
Wendy Love

The Good and the Bad About Self-Help Books

One of the reasons I suggest that you stay away from self-help books when you are depressed is that they can set you up for failure.

As you read you may get your hopes up about making changes to your life, and then your depressive thoughts take over and you say to yourself ‘who am I kidding?’ which can lead you to feeling even more depressed.

I wrote an article on my other blog about self-help books which you may or may not find interesting depending on your mood today. http://wendalynlovestowrite.blogspot.com/2008_10_13_archive.html

There can be a good side to self-help books, depending on the which one you read. I have a couple of favourite books on depression that I have listed on ‘recommended books’. They are not totally self-help books. They describe aspects of depression, which, when I review them, can be useful. When I am deep down in depression, I sometimes refer to them once again with the question in my mind ‘is there something I have missed?’ Often there will be a new revelation that may give me new hope or at least explain why, once again, I find myself in the depths of depression.
What does this have to do with you? Are you reading books that set unrealistic expectations for someone who is battling depression? Are there some books that may be making you feel worse and not better? Is a self-help book really helpful? Is it time to purge your bookshelves?

Next time I would like to chat about the 'voices' of depression.

Click here for your daily dose of laughter medicine:

http://www.danggoodjokes.com/mechanic/

Don't give up.

Consider this a therapy session

As we dipsy doodle around depression!

I'm praying for you,

Wendy Love

Ten Things to Avoid When You are Depressed

You do not need to get even more depressed. Here is a list of things to avoid when you are having a depressive episode.

1. Sugar

2. Alcohol

3. Caffeine

4. People you don’t like.

5. Work

6. Decisions

7. Self-help books

8. Thinking

9. Negative TV and/or movies

10. Confrontations

How might this apply to you? Why should you avoid these things? Because they may make you even more depressed!

Next time I would like to chat about the good and the bad of self-help books.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here: http://www.danggoodjokes.com/gifts/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Quick Temporary Relief from Depression: Part Two

You may be asking if it really is possible to get a break when you are in the middle of a deep dark depression. Yes it is. How do I know? Because I have experienced it! These are kind of silly, but they have occasionally worked for me.

When I am so bad that I am spending all of my time in bed, sometimes I will force myself to get up in the morning, and make my bed. Then I will get out of my pajamas, have a bath and put on clean clothes (that’s street clothes, not pajamas). Then I will go back to my bedroom, but for the rest of the day I will lie ON the bed not IN it. This way I can distinguish a bit between my days and nights.

Tidying up the bedroom helps too. This is my scenery for the day, so I try to make it as pleasing as possible.

Even when I can hardly do any work, I attempt to tidy up my kitchen counter so that every time I come in to find something to eat (seems I can always eat!), I don’t have to look at a messy kitchen and be reminded of what a failure depression tells me I am.

A good chat with a trusted friend can be helpful. For me that would be my sister. After a gab with her, I am better... for awhile. It gives me a real boost.

Listen to something that gives you joy. If you have some favourite music, try it. I find that listening through earphones is more therapeutic to me. Somehow having the music blast right into my head (the part of me that is sick!) feels like actual medicine.

These are just a few ideas that may, or may not work for you. Can you add some things to my list? Would you like to share them with us?

When I was a young mother-to-be in the maternity ward of the hospital, in labour, I remember thinking “I’m sure I could do this if I could just have a break!” Depression, like childbirth, is hard. Breaks help.

How might this apply to you? Are you giving yourself a break? The illness may not be giving you a break right now, but you can manufacture one of your own or try one of mine. Do what you can and don't do what you can't.

Next time I will share a list of ‘what to avoid when you are depressed’.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/chauffeur/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Quick Temporary Relief from Depression: Part One

Here is a list of some things that might give you a temporary relief from your depressive symptoms:

Hot chocolate
Hot bath
Haircut
Deep breathing
Massage
Pet an animal
Fresh air
Make your bed
Get dressed
Eat some turkey
Watch America’s Funniest Home Videos
Have a good cry
Dance
Sing
Pray
Clean a closet
Sort a drawer
Work on a jigsaw puzzle

This is a short list. Could you add some things to it that have given you a short little break from the darkness of depression?

How might this apply to you? If you have been depressed for a long time and see no hope, you need a wee break. If none of the things on my list help, start your own list. But do take a break!

Next time I have a few more ideas you could try to get some temporary relief from your symptoms.

Click here for your daily dose of laughter medicine:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/hospital101/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Journaling Through Depression

Journaling is a known method for recording thoughts and feelings. Part of the depression illness is being deluged by thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it is referred to as 'racing thoughts'. You can't seem to stop yourself from thinking. Journaling can be a way of getting those thoughts out of your head.

The following links about journaling are insightful. They are definitely worth checking out.

http://hubpages.com/hub/5-ways-a-journal-can-help-heal-your-depression http://www.depression-help-for-you.com/journal-away-depression.html http://www.buzzle.com/articles/journaling-your-way-to-recovery-beating-depression-with-a-notebook.html

Journaling is something that most good therapists will ask you to do. Teenage girls have known about the comfort of a diary since way back when. A diary was a safe place to record confusing feelings, feelings that you didn’t want anyone else to know about.

It is the same for those of us who suffer from depression. We experience all sorts of thoughts and feelings that seem too bizarre to share. Getting them out can be therapeutic.

How might this apply to you? If you have never tried journaling, maybe now is the time to try. Try it just once. Need an idea of where to start? Many of my entries have started like this: “I am so angry!” or “I hate everybody!” Try it. What have you got to lose?

Next time I am going to chat about some more relief from depression.

For your daily dose of laughter medicine click here:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/driving/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Bipolar is Genetic

LITTLE GIRL WITH A LITTLE CURL

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

And when she was good,

She was very very good,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

That would describe me as a child. My mother used to say that I was up and down like a toilet seat. This was the first memory that came back to me when, as a 57 year old woman, I began to suspect that I might be bipolar. Since bipolar is genetic, I was searching for answers.

Yes, the baby in the photo is me!

By the time I realized that I was bipolar, both of my parents were gone and so there was no one to ask. But as I remember my childhood I remember that my mother had a ‘nervous breakdown’. I was young and protected and so the details were hidden from me.

My mother didn’t share much of her story. I do remember her saying that she had electric shock therapy. It must have been successful for her, because she was a fairly even tempered woman for the rest of her life.

I also remember her telling me about her own mother who had quite a temper. Everyone assumed the temper was due to a heart condition which forced her to be confined to bed more than she liked. In retrospect I wonder if she too may have been bipolar.

How can this apply to you? You too may have memories of behaviours in your family that would indicate that you are not the first one to suffer from depression. This is helpful information for your doctor. Sometimes, if they suspect that there is a genetic component they may NOT waste time trying to figure out WHY you are depressed. They may be more compliant about treating you quickly and less insistent that you ‘need therapy’. That is not to say that therapy doesn’t have its place, it does.

A great form of therapy is journaling and this is what I would like to chat about next time.

Check here for you daily dose of laughter medicine:
http://danggoodjokes.com/kids/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Bipolar? Not Me!

This blog is not about me, it is about you. However, there will be times when it will be helpful to refer to my own story. This is one of those times.

It took eight years to figure out that I had bipolar depression and not just clinical depression. The difference is significant and I will tell you more about that another time.

Why did it take so long to figure it out? Bipolar involves both good moods and bad moods. It affects two poles of the brain, not just one. Mine is 'bipolar one' which is a milder form. The only time I went to see the doctor was when I was in the depths of depression. When I was on top of the world, I did not go to see the doctor. I was too busy being ‘not depressed’. I assumed those good feelings were normal. I assumed that was how everybody felt when they weren’t depressed.

However, the good feelings did not last and I would be back to the doctor again with a major depressive episode. She would say ‘what happened?’ I would have no answer. We would try a new medication and home I would go hoping....

One of my patterns every time I hit a low point, was to study everything I already knew about depression and see what I had missed. Often I was up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep and I would get on the internet and once again review some depression sights. Sometimes I would learn something that would give me new insight.

One night I came across a test for bipolar (which, by the way, I was sure I did not have). I took the test and there it was! That was me! How had I missed it all these years?

I went to see my doctor the next day. She smiled and said “I knew you would figure it out!” She prescribed a different medication. I wish I could tell you that I am all better now. I am not. There is no cure for bipolar depression. However, I can say that I am better than I have ever been. My depressive episodes don’t last as long as they used to, and when I find myself becoming manic, I know what to do.

The long winding road to discover that I was bipolar was painful but it was worth it. May your journey not take you as long as mine did.

How can this apply to you? Maybe there is more detective work for you to do in order to get a right diagnosis. How about looking over some of your information again. Or, if you don't have the energy for that, just pray for more revelation about your illness.

Next time I would like to continue my story by telling you how I realized that I had probably been bipolar all of my life.

Click here for your daily dose of laughter medicine:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/bloopers/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Accepting the Diagnosis

This next step is not final or definitive. A diagnosis needs to be made for treatment to begin. However, there is a possibility that there will be some trial and error involved and that the diagnosis may change.

You may think you will feel relieved when a diagnosis is made, and that is possible. But you may have other confusing feelings and you might even find your diagnosis makes you feel temporarily more depressed (if that is possible!)

Here is an excellent article by one of my fellow bloggers Nancie, that I would recommend you read:

http://morethanconquerors2008.blogspot.com/2008/02/accepting-illness.html
What does this have to do with you? You will have a reaction to a diagnosis and you will need to process your feelings. How will you do that? Will journaling help? Could you talk to your therapist about it? Is there someone special whose shoulder you could cry on?

Next time I would like to some parts of my own story and how I arrived at a diagnosis.

Click here for your daily dose of laughter medicine:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/loan/

Don’t give up!

Consider this a therapy session
As we dipsy doodle around depression!

I’m praying for you,
Wendy Love

More Ways to Achieve an Accurate Diagnosis

You may want to add to yesterday's list of ways to get properly diagnosed.

Find some good detailed descriptions of the different kinds of depression and see where you fit in. If you have a trusted friend or family member to help you, they may be able to add some perspective.

You, however, are the only one who knows how you think. You are the one with pieces of the puzzle. Here is just one link that will give you some detailed information: http://www.depression-help-resource.com/types-of-depression.htm

There is One who knows you better than you know yourself. As a Christian, I believe that is God. Also as a Christian I believe that the bible is the inspired word of God and I go there for help and comfort.

One of my favourite scriptures is in Psalm139:1,2 which says “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.”

And so, as I search for more pieces of my own personal depression puzzle I often pray for help to a God who created me and knows me better than I know myself.

What does this have to do with you? Do you have all of the pieces to your puzzle? Ask yourself these questions: Are you convinced you have the right diagnosis and are getting the right treatment? Do you think your health professional has all of the information they need?

If you are on medication, is it helping? If not, do some more research and discover if you may be receiving medication for the wrong kind of depression. Do what you can and don't do what you can't!

Have you prayed for help?

Next time I would like to share an article which tells you how to accept your diagnosis once you have one.

Click here for daily dose of laughter medicine:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/balance/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!
Don't give up, I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

A History of Mental Illness According to Wendy Love

Last time I mentioned that 2009 was a good time to suffer from mental illness and I would give you a history of mental illness according to me. If you would like to study this for yourself, please refer the following sites:

http://www.manitoba.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=284-683-1480-1497-1622

http://www.mentalwellness.com/mentalwellness/history.html

“Mental Illness” was not considered an illness a long time ago. Those suffering were thought to be demon possessed and were shunned and hidden. People were even afraid to be around them.

As societies became more organized and more “civilized” they created institutions to hide people with these unexplained behaviours. Patients were treated no better than prisoners and medical professionals used barbaric treatments.

Study continued but mental illness remained unexplained. The milder forms of mental illness were labelled ‘nerves’ or ‘melancholy’ and the patient was considered weak and blamed for their own illness. The more outward demonstrations of mental illness were still considered to be socially unacceptable and continued to be institutionalized.

Qualified doctors and unqualified onlookers finally concluded that ‘it was all in your head’ and they were right! Mental illness is all in the head! It is an illness of the mind.

Doctors feel terrible when they cannot diagnose and prescribe which is what they were able to do with other illnesses and so when valium came along they finally had something to offer. Being a tranquilizer, this drug did dull some of the pain but did not make the patient feel any better or make them any more useful to themselves or society in general.

The superman of medications was ready to fly in – Prozac! Many sufferers of depression would find themselves saying ‘this is the real me, this is how I am supposed to feel!’ Prozac was one of the first drugs to bring relief to this painful illness of the emotions.

Doctors finally realized there was something that could change this illness and concluded finally, that it was an illness. The study towards finding more medications, and the business side of developing more medications began and continues to this day.

Do you see why I say that this is the best time to have mental illness? The treatments are more humane and there is hope. There has been no better time so far than this!

So, what does that have to do with you? Have you exhausted all of the possibilities to get the help you need? Have you gotten the right diagnosis? Do what you can and don't do what you can't!

Next time I will chat with you about ways you can go getting the right diagnosis.

For your dose of laughter medicine today, I could not resist this joke about mental health.

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director “how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.”

"Well”, said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand”, said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No.” said the Director, “a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up,
I’m praying for you!
Wendy Love

Is There a Good Time to be Depressed?

"You must be crazy!" I hear you saying. Well, yes, I am crazy (ha ha ha), but I am also serious.

Depression is a form of mental illness. Mental illness has quite a history and there is not one period in history where there is more hope for the mentally ill than now.

There is less stigma, more understanding, more counsellors, more drugs to try, better insurance plans and more options than ever before. There is more reason for HOPE than ever before.

Keep that in mind (oops, wrong choice of words!) Better still, write this down when you are becoming overwhelmed with the system of doctors and drugs and counsellors. Some professionals are better at their work than others, but there are more choices than ever before.

Next time I would like to prove my point by sharing with you the evolution of mental illness, according to Wendy Love.

For now, hang in there, don't try to escape from the system of helps for mental health like this little fellow is doing. Jump right in and embrace those resources and play detective until you find just the right solution to your problem. Do what you can and don't do what you can't!

Click here for your daily dose of laugh medicine:
http://www.danggoodjokes.com/holyhumor/

May dipsy doodling around depression be better than a therapy session!

Don't give up, I'm praying for you!
Wendy Love